Awkward Moments of 2012

Memang belum genap sebulan tahun 2012 berlalu. Tapi gw gak nyangka, belum 1 bulan aja udah se… se… seperti ini. In a good way or not? Just continue reading

Minggu ini, entah apa yg terjadi pada alam semesta, dipenuhi dengan berbagai konflik. No, it’s not me, yg berkonflik orang lain but unfortunately people related to me. Baru sadar, kalo gw bilang “minggu ini” pun rasanya inappropriate karena sekarang baru selasa but well… these 2 days feel like a living hell (instead of the fact that finally i went to a beach yesterday)

So why? Why “awkward moments”?

Because today is ‘awkward moments’ day!
Dimulai dari rapat ter.. entahlah ter apa, words just can’t describe that. People, I had a really bad sore throat but nobody listened! And this f-ing bronchitis just came at the most inappropriate time: just before I planned on going home. WHY the hell it’s inappropriate?? Because my mom will get angry at me if I get sick because it means I can’t take care of myself. And she’ll abandon me from doing LITERALLY ANYTHING outside which also INCLUDES that big thing on this weekend: RTA MA. and, FYI, people, Im the chairman of that occasion at which I’ll also be inducted to be one of MA member. SO I maintain myself to AT LEAST get better when I come home tomorrow. But what happened today really makes me sad… and disappointed
I shouted to get over the crowd, the can’t-be-stopped-from-talking-people, but STILL nobody listened. I could feel my face’s got warmer and my eyes were getting wet… I knew I was about to cry. That was awkward you know. I was the head of the meeting but I cried because nobody listened.
Where, let me enlighten you. I just felt that everybody only wanted to talk about things related to his/her job and when i talked about other people’ thingy, only a few listened. It’s just so… selfish 😦

What’s awkward moment number 2?
So I went to toilet quickly and cried there. I washed my face to overcome the tears-marks but still I cudn’t stop crying. So I sat down at a long chair near the toilet (in front of my lecture room) and continued the crying. Okay, honestly the not-listening-people was just a trigger. I was sooo much upset about sooo many things about sooo many people related to that big thing. I just can’t show it, I can’t say it out loud. I was being the greatest poker face ever lived (when we’re talking about me pretending everything’s okay when everything’s not). You wanna know? ‘Course you want haha, but no, Im not gonna tell it here, it’s just to private.
At the time I cried really hard, I heard a trotting came from my back. I heard someone said,
“Mbak, kalo mau ke RSCM ke mana ya?” (translate: Miss, can you show me a way to RSCM?)

I turned around without wiping my tears first

And answered with the happiest smile you could show when you were crying,
“That way, Sir”

Poor that man! Hahaha
He was like seeing a ghost. He was so shocked.
So that was the awkward moment number 2 (more for that poor moment i guess :p)

After that, I continued crying. I felt like nobody really cared about me. I sacrificed so much for that big thing. I studied less than I ever did and so I had to catch up the exams prep on last minutes which, in turn, causes this bronchitis. I was so freaked out of getting everybody’s involved, but still I didn’t see they were really in it. When everybody’s so lazy to get their ass up to meet me up, I came to their places. When they were so ignorant about getting to meeting on time, I never complaint, at least in front of them. No, I didn’t expect them to be me, damn no, but at least please, care about me, listen to me when Im talking :”’
I knew, hell, I knew they had so much amazing life, so much sophisticated life rather that just make this big thing happen, but this is important to other people. And that other people may depending on us.
Because they never cared, I felt really, really lonely. It’s just a word ‘sorry’ that came out from their mouth after they troublesome me. But they didn’t care about me. They only cared when I cried like this afternoon. Well I don’t even know is it the word ‘care’ or ‘wanna know’ I should have used. The fact that everyone, everyone except me, has so much greater life rather than I do, makes me feel even lonelier. Who else do I have here?
I just feel soo worthless that I should have not been here

Now that everyone knows that I want them to care about me all I wanna do is shouted that they’re just too late

That’s what happening on awkward moment number 3. One of them finally found out where I had been gone and she took a seat next to me. All that time, we didn’t talk. That was surely awkward for her and also for me. I just wanted people to leave me alone but actually its loneliness causes this sadness. Contradictory huh? Yep, but that’s what I felt.
I made one of my friend took my backpack to my place. He was.. okay, he was annoyingly funny and he did make me laugh while I was still crying haha. You didn’t actually care when you asked me “what happened? tell me all the story” while I was crying. You could possibly just wanna know. But you did care when you tried to stop me cry. Whatever your way (excluding “Kris, please don’t cry” okay? I am so gonna cry louder if you try to stop me from crying by saying that. And plus, I sooo hate that sentence).

I really have to stop continuing this blog. Gosh, something happens and this is just sucks that I spontaneously cry all over again. What mom’s gonna say tomorrow when she found out my eyes are so… no word can describe this disaster.

Sebuah Ekspresi Kesedihan

Mestinya nyampe kos gue belajar. Tapi gue malah membuka account blog gue yang udah berbulan-bulan gak gue update dan dengan otomatis membuat blog dengan judul kayak gini.
It’s not something big or what, it’s just life.
Sejak akhir minggu kemarin gue jatuh sakit. Awalnya sore throat biasa, terus makin sakit dan minggu malam gue demam disertai migrain. Syukurlah Senin pagi gue udah gak demam walaupun leher masih sakit luar biasa dan kepala juga masih nyut-nyutan.
Hari ini penyakit gue ga ada progress. Tentu aja gue udah minum obat (my mom is a pharmacist so she practically knows when to give antibiotics to treat certain disease with certain symptoms). Minum antibiotic ya ga langsung sembuh juga, tetep harus dibarengi sama istirahat yang cukup, which I doubt I’ll have in 1 week forward.
Hari ini gue kuliah cuman 1 jam doang, gak ada praktikum. Tapi kemarin malem gue dapet sms dari teman gue kalo gue dapet giliran “jaga” DC Voli (semacam pertandingan olahraga intrakampus gue dan gue panitia di cabang voli) hari ini jam 5. Sms pemberitahuannya malem. Gue udah kayak “what, why so sudden?” Bukan karena gue ada acara lain yang bentrok sama itu, tapi gue gak suka aja sesuatu yang mendadak dan tiba-tiba berkaitan dengan jadwal gue. Udah kesel-kesel gitu tapi gue pendem-pendem aja lah. FYI, sakit membuat mood swing gue kumat dan cukup parah.
Eh tadi pagi ada sms dadakan lain tentang briefing panitia untuk sore ini. Gue sms PJ-nya kan, gue protes dan tanya kenapa semuanya dadakan gini. Berhubung mood gue tadi pagi juga gak baik-baik banget (karena batuk-batuk gue yang tak kunjung mereda), meluap lah segala kekesalan gue yang mungkin lu pikir childish. Gue mengkritik keputusan rapat mengenai kriteria keberhasilan pertandingan dari kehadiran panitia yang menurut gue terlalu PD. Oke, memang kekhawatiran gue gak terbukti, tadi cuman 1 panitia wajib dateng yang gak dateng, tapi ke cover karena memang angkatan gue yang tanding.
Udah kan, selesai kuliah ternyata ada guest lecture, jadi gue baru beres jam 12. Gue udah berpikir untuk ngilang dan cabut ke kos terus istirahat. But I didn’t. Well, now I know I should have gone back that time. Selama 5 jam gue nunggu di perpus yang AC-nya bikin hidung gue meler lebih parah sampe gue kehilangan kemampuan untuk menghidu.
Mengingat kondisi gue yang seperti ini, dengan gue sebagai manusia biasa yang gak sempurna, wajar dong kalau gue ngeluh? Tololnya memang gue ngeluh lewat sms dan smsnya salah kirim, malah ke orang yg seharusnya tidak membaca sms itu.
Gak ngerti deh gue orangnya udah baca atau belum yang jelas we haven’t talked since that ‘accident’
Oke, pas pertandingan gue jadi scorring man gitu, yang ngeganti2 angka di papan skor. Tas gue taro di seberang lapangan. Sebenernya sepanjang pertandingan gue udah kepikiran karena di tas gue ada laptop. Tapi karena rebek gue mager ngambil tas.
Pas peluit tanda pertandingan selesai, gue segera nyamperin tas gue. Udah refleks ambil tas berarti cek HP yg gue tinggalin di sana. Siapa tau ibu gue sms. Man, you know what, my HP’s LCD was totally broken. And that was like the triggering moment that reached the ‘tear-producing-threshold’. Mungkin ada di antara lu yang menganggap gue lebay kalo nangisin hp, but you must know, that crying was not something anyone intended to do. If you don’t feel it that way, If you disagree about that, well, it must be your emotional processing cortex that’s abnormal.
waktu hp gue yang sebelumnya hilang dicolong, gue pun nangis, di angkot lagi.
Still disagree? Yeah, besides your abnormal processing cortex, you also don’t even try to be empathetic.
Alhasil sepanjang evaluasi panitia setelah pertandingan gue nahan nangis. Gue gak mau merepotkan orang dengan berusaha menghibur gue, ataupun mengganggu siapapun yang merasa kalau nangis itu annoying.
Gak sampai di situ.
Memang ini kelalaian gue. Gue LO angkatan 2008, dan gue salah ngasih tau lawan tanding pertandingan minggu depan. Bukan kesalahan yang fatal atau apa. Tapi karena gue bener-bener udah…. arrhh, gue pun nangis dan mengerjap-ngerjapkan mata, berusaha liat ke arah lain. Selesai evaluasi, gak pake lama gue langsung pulang dan menangis dalam kegelapan, dalam keramaian jalan diponegoro, sekaligus dalam diam.
Kesimpulannya adalah, gue bener-bener nyesel udah memutuskan untuk pergi kuliah hari ini, gue bener-bener nyesel udah ngebela-belain nunggu 5 jam di perpustakaan. I rarely regret things happened in my life, really. But this time I regret my decision so much.

Jurnal Ilmiah Mahasiswa Kedokteran Indonesia (JIMKI)

Hei, people!
You must be questioning about this post ritee? You must be deadly curious about what the title is all about! I knew it I knew it! So without mumbling further…

Jadi, JIMKI adalah suatu program kerja, annually, dari Badan Analisis dan Pengembangan Ilmiah Nasional Ikatan Senat Mahasiswa Kedokteran Indonesia (BAPIN ISMKI). What’s so special about this is… Ready to hear this??
You sure??
Alright:

JIMKI adalah satu-satunya jurnal resmi mahasiswa kedokteran Indonesia

And noow, we’ve just officially entered a “Call For Paper” period for JIMKI August-December edition!!
You’re soooo not gonna miss this, are you??

So, check this OUT!

JURNAL ILMIAH MAHASISWA KEDOKTERAN INDONESIA

Kami memperkenalkan suatu wadah publikasi karya ilmiah mahasiswa kedokteran bernama Jurnal Ilmiah Mahasiswa Kedokteran Indonesia (JIMKI). Jurnal ini diterbitkan oleh BAPIN-ISMKI setiap enam bulan sekali, dan memuat hasil karya tulis dan penelitian mahasiswa kedokteran se-Indonesia.
Kami mengumumkan bahwa periode Call for Paper JIMKI edisi Agustus-Desember 2011 telah dibuka mulai tanggal 1-31 Agustus 2011. Karya-karya tersebut terlebih dahulu disesuaikan dengan Pedoman Penulisan JIMKI yang dapat diunduh dari website http://jimkindonesia.wordpress.com (atau link di akhir post ini). Karya dikirimkan ke jimki_ina@yahoo.com. Setiap karya ilmiah yang diterima akan diseleksi oleh tim redaksi yang kompeten dan akan diterbitkan pada bulan Desember 2011 dalam tingkat nasional.

Untuk informasi selengkapnya, silakan mengunjungi website http://jimkindonesia.wordpress.com, jejarig sosial facebook JIMKI, twitter @JIMKI _INA, atau mengirim email ke jimki_ina@yahoo.com.

Contact person Call for Paper :
Aldo Ferly (08170909633), Felix Chikita Fredy (081318867998), Fridyan Ratnasari (085767415056)

Pssst, you can download the guideline by clicking this link below 😉

http://www.4shared.com/document/zxnHctYL/Pedoman_Penulisan_Artikel_JIMK.html

Not Just a Face in a Crowd

Okay! I really cannot wait to tell you what happened today!!
Yeah, you know, not really a big deal maybe for the entire world except me.. But i write it here because it IS quite a big deal right?

Hari ini kampus gw, FKUI mengadakan acara namanya Have Fun Go Med (HFGM)). Acara ini itu merupakan acara pembukaan suatu rangkaian acara (cih bahasa KBBI) bernama Liga Medika. Jadi, udah bertaun2 acara ini dilakukan (anually, but i forget how many, for exact) dan dikoordinasi oleh mahasiswa FKUI tingkat 3 (jadi HFGM tadi istilahnya yang ngadainnya tuh angkatan 2008) tapi panitianya terdiri dari angkatan2 di bawahnya juga.
Gw jadi panitia konsumsi Liga Medika (secara umum), jadi gw juga kerja pas HFGM. Sebenernya, gw lupa banget lho HFGM bakal diadain tanggal 23 Juli ini. Tapi sebuah mimpi aneh pada malam jumatnya mengingatkan gw akan acara ini. Di mimpi itu gw ketemu seseorang (temen gw juga, tapi gw juga lupa haha) dan dia ngingetin gw kalo HFGM tanggal 23 Juli. Weird huh?
Tapi mimpi itu ternyata memang memberi petunjuk

akhirnya, gw yang tadinya hari sabtu seharian mau main di UI Depok sama temen SMA gw ‘terpaksa’ harus sampai di kampus jam 10 pagi. Jujur gw pingin banget nonton artis2 kondang macem Glenn, Endah Rhesa live, gw belum pernah. Kalo jadi panitia kan gw yaah, gaperlu bayar 😉

Bentar deh,
gw yakin kalian2 ini paham ke mana arah tulisan ini
ya kan?
hayooo ngakuuu!

Yep. Gw saat ini sedang ada dalam tahap “berusaha melupakan” dan gw rasa gw cukup berhasil 2 hari ini (gimme aplauseee!!). Selain karena berbagai pertimbangan, pemikiran, dsb dsb, tentu saja hal ini bukanlah tanpa sebab. Apa yang terjadi sampe gw bener bener benerrr bertekad untuk “melupakan”?

Orang ketiga

Gak pantes disebut orang ketiga juga sih, orang keduanya juga bukan siapa2 gueeeh hahaha. Mari kita sebut dia dengan sebutan “oknum”. Gw dulu sempet2 suka sama si oknum itu. Tapi bentar banget, 2-3minggu doang, yah ga lain dan ga bukan karena kurang intensnya pertemuan2 gw sama dia, diakibatkan lokasi geografis dan perbedaan waktu yang cukup menyulitkan.
Oh! Bukan LDR kok.
Maksud gw “lokasi geografis” itu yah ruang kuliah kami yang terpisah dan jelaasss “perbedaan waktu” itu maksudnya jadwal kuliah yang beda.
Ah! Ketawan deh si oknum beda angkatan sama gw (teledor kamu, Kris!)
Gitu deeeh, lagian karena si orang kedua (disebut sebagai tersangka) ada di sekitar gw terus, yaah, gimana engga I fall for him all over agaaaaiin ya gaaa? Gw sekarang cuman bisa berharap tingkat 2 gw bener2 kepisah sama tersangka dan seharusnya liburan ini gw pake utk pembiasaan.
Sumpah lho, ngelupain tersangka itu susaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahnya gak terkira. Parah abis deh pokoknya. Soalnya hampir semua hal itu ada di dia. HAMPIR ya. contoh yang ga ada tuh seperti kemampuan untuk memahami gw dan menerima gw apa adanya >:p
Gara-gara “kehampiran” ini, gw jadi picky banget untuk NGECENG. Man, NGECENG DOANG PICKY LHO. Ada cowok ganteng, baik, siap dikeceng (yakali) tapi tangannya gak kekar kayak si tersangka. Teruss gajadi ngeceng deh. Penting sekali kan? Banyak deh hal2 kecil ga penting yang gw banding2in antara kandidat kecegan dan si tersangka. Gw baru sadar aja, sebenernya itu mekanisme otak gw yang tetep pingin suka sama si tersangka

But I’ve had enough for that, I guesss

Sang oknum ini hemmmm, gimana ya? Hahaha. gw selalu suka sama dia. Yah, sebagai kakak mungkin. Gw hanya tidak mengenal dia terlalu dekat ya karena itu tadi: letak geografis dan perbedaan waktu. Oknum itu bertolak belakang banget sama tersangka dan itu ngebuat gw ga ngebanding2in keduanya

malam ini, gw bener2 bahagia ngeliat wajah ituuu, wajah yang gak sekedar “wajah dalam kerumunan”. Oknum seliwar-seliwer sih tapi wajar lah. Itu wajah familier selama beberapa bulan terakhir ini, bahkan mungkin setaun (lupa, yakali gw inget tanggal pertemuan pertama).
Gw mengalami tanda2 awal ngeceng: senyum2 sendiri tiap liat dia dan lain2

Doakan semoga…
Semoga gw bener suka sama oknum dan melupakan tersangka

Cuman kali ini gw pingin santai aja dulu dalam masalah ginian (MOUTH ZIPPED!!). Gw mungkin suka beneran dan dia mungkin entar bisa tau dari teman2nya dan lain kalo gw suka sama dia. Ya sudah, liat nanti sajaaa

“people make plans but god decides”
oops
i mean
“people make plans but god make plants”
😉

Kisah Sedih di Penghujung Bulan Juni

Hey, people, whoever still check my blog regularly hehe!
Bukan maksud gue sombong, but you knooow LIFE MAAAAAN! Life is more than just typing on your blog, telling about… life. But this kind of life has sucked your time like a dementor sucks happiness from people. Yeah, actually my life has been acting such a dementor.
Or it IS?
point is, I have to say sorry that I felt this desire on writing when I felt really sad after a long long day. I don’t know who else to tell, who else to cry to. Maybe those who know enough feel im being over react, im being.. hyperbolic. Maybe they sick of my sickness
my sickness about him

ANYONE who ever read a post titled “him” raise your hand!!

okay, so you guys exactly know WHO am going to tell on this post. aah I can FEEL you all close your tab and start turning off your laptops. I see, fine.

Ah! There are still few people there keep scrolling their mouse and feel curious. Here the story is

(sumpah, tulisan gw di atas udah sinting banget)

Gak perlu gw ceritain siapa atau gimana kisahnya, karena it will take LITERALLY FOREVER, to tell the whole story about us. Intinya adalah, I FALL, MORE DEEPLY AND DEEPLY, TO THE DEEPEST OCEAN. I fall for him as he IS the gravity. Stuffs happen between us, happy stuffs, sad stuffs. We fight and we might love. No, i do LOVE but i dont know about him. But i guess not
semester 2 telah berakhir dan gw masuk ke fase liburan yang biasanya lebih menguras emosi karena hal-hal ga penting. Bukan berarti kuliah ga lebih menguras emosi ya. Bedanya saat kuliah itu emosi terkuras untuk hal-hal PENTING.
Dan memang, not even in 2 weeks things happen again between us.

Sebenarnya, sumpah ya, gw GA PAHAM GW GA PAHAM GW GA PAHAM GW GA PAHAM sama perasaan gw sendiri. Gimana gw mau paham perasaan orang lain T..T Ga jarang gw merasa kesal dan berselisih paham sama dia. Tapi ga jarang juga gw merasa senang when he’s around, when he laughs, when he stays there and does nothing. Dia bisa membuat gw merasa hangat (NOT LITERALLY, please) tapi dia juga bisa menjadi dingin banget, which usually makes me upset because I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY, goddamn it

gw rasa gw menyukai orang yang salah. Gw menyukai orang yang SAMA SEKALI GA GW PAHAMI. But I just cant let him go. Its embarrassing but I envy EVERY GIRL close to him. I CANNOT LET GO THE DESIRE TO HOLD HIS DAMN HANDS WHEN HE’S AROUND.
I cant
I cant
I cant
But I know this is SOOOOO NOT RIGHT
This is so f-ing wrong

Nah, tadi sore terjadi suatu hal SUPERTOLOL yang gw lakukan.
Gw pulang kampus acara organisasi gitu malem kan. Gw sebenernya nonton acara tanding futsal (bukan karena dia main kok, tapi karena teman2 gw yang lain main). Setelah tanding selesai, gw berharap dong bisa jalan bareng sampe jembatan penyeberangan (EVERYGIRL IN MY PLACE will feel the same, i bet). Tapi ternyata orangnya main basket dulu.

ya udah aneh kan kalo gw tungguin pulang? (aneh gak sih? sebenernya kalo dalam konteks dia sahabat gw, yah itu ga aneh. gw akan nungguin sahabat gw main basket kok, berhubung gw jg ga ada kerjaan) Akhirnya gw memutuskan gw pulang, I HAVE TO GROW UP, ga boleh ngeceng2 jaman SMP/SMA yang berharap2 ga penting.

Tapi gw ga bisa

Gw berlama2 membaca berbagai poster di lorong menuju lobi bawah. Gw berlama-lama jalannya dengan dalih sambil smsan (iya sih smsan, tapi smsan sambil jalan juga ga akan selama itu kok jalannya). Gw mampir beli gorengan dulu dan berlama2 di tukang gorengan sampe tukangnya juga bingung

Saat gw mau naik jembatan penyebrangan, gw berpikir, mungkin tadi terakhir kali gw ngeliat dia sebelum gw libur lumayan panjang (walaupun di sela2 libur gw juga pasti ketemu kok). Tanpa berpikir panjang gw memutuskan, I HAVE TO WAIT QUIETLY SOMEWHERE untuk melihat dia pulang dan sukur2 melihat dia lebih lama lagi karena dia bakal nunggu busway.

Gw melihat tukang jualan di spot yang pas. Tukang sotonya keliatan jorok. Ada tukang sate padang but God knows how I hate that food. Cuman tekad kuat gw mengalahkan kebencian gw pada sate padang. Gw pesen 1 porsi sate padang dan duduk dengan cool.

Ya Tuhan, gw ga laper dan gw benci sate padang

Gw sudah berpikir, kalo dia lewat pas gw makan, gw akan mengajak dia duduk dan ngabisin sate padang yang gue ga suka itu. Terus ngobrol lebih lama kan jadinya. Terus jalan bareng deh sampe jembatan penyeberangan. Kalopun pas-pasan gw selesai makan dan dia baru lewat, gw tetep akan jalan bareng, THINGS FOR WHICH I DID ALL THIS STUPIDITY.

Pada akhirnya dia lewat, tepat ketika gw sedang berkonsentrasi makan sambil mengutuki bumbu sate yang pedesnya aneh dan ga lazim. Semua rencana gw buyar. Gw cuman mengatakan hal ga penting dan dia hanya melambaikan tangan BAHKAN TANPA MENGUCAPKAN SEPATAH KATA PUN
heartless banget ya ga ada basa-basi sama sekali. tapi kenapa gw tetep sukaaaa T..T

gw berusaha berpikir positif. daritadi gw liat busway ke arah yang dia tuju ga dateng2. Jadi gw bisa liat dia ngantri di halte busway, from the distance of course, tapi tetep aja gw bakal lakuin kalo ada kesempatannya. Sedetik setelah pikiran itu datang, buswaynya juga datang. Dia langsung tergopoh2 lari. Gw berdoa semoga dia ga bisa ngejar buswaynya dan harus nunggu lagi. YES ternyata ga dapet. Baru gw liat, ADA TIGA BUSWAY SEKALIGUS YANG KOSONG DATANG.

jelaslah dia langsung masuk busway dan duduk

MIRIS GAK SIH LO
Gila kebencian gw pada sate padang langsung berlipat ganda dan gw mata gw udah berkaca2. 9 ribu lagi harganya!!!! meningan makan bubur super di kosan gw yang nyaman.

yang lebih parah lagi, saat dia udah di dalam halte dan bersiap naik, SEBUAH DAMRI SEGEDE BULDOSER BERHENTI TEPAT DI DEPAN GW DAN MENGHALANGI PANDANGAN GW. pas DAMRI lewat, gw melihat sekelebat bayangannya yang lagi bersiap2 duduk di busway. dan busway pun berlalu.

gw tolol banget ya?
buat apa sih gw ngelakuin itu semua?
gw sendiri bahkan ga paham sama perasaan gw
and surely he doesnt have a kind of feeling i have

what should i do what can i do? T..T

Windows Live Writer

Long time no seeee, huh?

I don’t really have plenty of time, but im just telling that I download this windows live writer (actually it was packed into one package of windows something when I intended to download msn).

This is really cool, blogging everywhere, eh?

See ya!

The Stats

I have known since holiday that this day is gonna come sooon sooon and getting worse and irreversible. The day when I write very little (or no more), and the blog’s stats is… disappointing. I have predicted this. I havent written for such a long time not because I dont want to, but because I am getting busier and busier. Not only because of studying; i also have some extra activities besides studying.
Yeah, I enjoy life, so much, sometimes feeling lonely and homesick, I also admit that, but I do enjoy blogging as much as I enjoy doing other things. SO what should I doo? I miss blogging 😦

Afternoon Talking

Today, (actually yesterday, at 23:30) my dad came home, yeey! Well, I am not in my best condition though, I got fever, sickness, or whatsoever that make me really…. sick. I still feel sick right now but not as sick as yesterday or the day before yesterday. I was like, almost faint. My vision was really bad (I dunno but it was all green, you know), I also got toothache. And backache (as I usually get when I have my period).

But that was yesterday, I mean, I don’t wanna talk about that anymore. I feel a lot better right now (even I still have this eye weirdness, that I have to use my eyeglasses to reduce the inconvenient. But my temp is quite around in normal range, highest normal range, actually).

Why I always make such a long introduction? =.=

Okay, so, I took a nap this afternoon. “A nap” was not an appropriate term for what I DID this afternoon, I actually… hmm FAINTED for almost 5 hours because I did not even remember when I actually fell asleep. All I remember I was reading Eat Pray Love, but when you fell asleep while you were reading a book you MUST have found your book folded in ugly way. But my book was “sitting” nicely behind my pillow, and I even folded it in tidy way at a page where I took the last page read.

The point is: I fainted

Nah, my dad was about to going back to his work or project or what this afternoon, and like a tradition in my family, we gathered together in our living room and got a umm.. some advices about college, about… life. I really like this afternoon talking, you know, when we talk about things, laugh at something I did, or my bros and sis did. I dont care if my big bro always fakes a smile and laugh in this afternoon talking, or my third lil bro always feels hesitate about this, but everybody respects our dad for he not able to be at home everyday.

And today’s afternoon talking went really random

First we all talked about college. I told my parents that I got 35 (when the mean score in my batch is 31) on progress test. My dad didnt get it at first (probably because I had not told him about this progress test), but my mom who already knew it expressed a shocked… expression (silly, I used a noun which is the derivation of the verb, not a good writing skill, I have to admit). And my mom said spontaneously,”Aaah you got the highest score!”

I could not even say a thing

Okay I don’t know whether I got the highest score or not and If I did, that’s insane! No no, what I am thinking? That’s retarded. That’s totally… out of my mind.

Since I feel sick, I could not shout spontaneously to respond such a thing, like I would do if I weren’t sick. I just said calmly (believe it or not! I turned really calm and even more fragile that I usually am),”No, I dont know, and it cant be like that, mom.”

The second talking still about college, but it’s for my big bro

My dad always praises his children, he is a very optimistic person yet sometimes can be too optimistic that he doesnt even consider about what happens in a real life. But I appreciate him. because my mom is actually the opposite of my dad: she always plans for the worst, and really, really understands what happens on the ground, but sometimes it drives me crazy: the plans (and all the backup plans she made) conquer her mind like a parasite that doesn’t let her to think positively. It sometimes gets really useful but it’s just… I dont know, I think she needs to loosen up. I know I know, I’m in the middle of them, but tend to be like mom.

WHAT Im trying to say is, my dad said that my big bro will be the next Marty Natalegawa (sorry, Sir, If I spelled your name incorrectly). And my dad asked my big bro,
“Who is Marty Natalegawa, Ram? You must know him.”

My big bro answered,
“Hmm. Pejabat kan?”

My dad laughed (so did I. I actually smiled) and continued,
“Hahaha, pejabat. Who’s him, gop?” (my dad called my mom ‘Gopi’)

My mom answered,
“Orang DepLu”

My dad even laughed louder. It was so cute you know, I smiled wider (I was and am still sick, note that)
“Ih, itu Menteri Luar Negeri, kok Orang DepLu”

“Yah, MenLu kan orang DepLu juga,” my mom responded

The third talking was about my health condition. I forgot to tell that this one last week I got my Aunt (my dad’s lil sis) and my grandma (my dad’s mom) from Bali visiting us. They stayed one night at my house (just because my house is really not sufficient for having two more additional people in it, they stayed at my dad’s bro’s, not really far from mine). My Aunt touched my forehead to scale whether I still had the fever or not and she said,”Not really high, I guess, It’s around 35C”

Again, I could not say a thing

This time my mom (who is a pharmacist, so she knows about medicine and medical things quite well) laughed,”The normal temp is around 37C, Putu hahaha,”

My Aunt said,”Yaah, I intended to make her feel better”

so cute of here. I get sudden inspiration that my family should start a show like OVJ. It will be so much entertaining.

The last random talking still about my health condition but it gets pretty serious. My dad asked where the fever came from, I mean, did I get flu, or acute bronchitis, or what that could possibly caused the fever (if I am not mistaken, a fever is a sign, it could not come from no where right? If I am mistaken, I offer an apologize)?
I said that it came from a toothache. At the very back of my teeth. And my mom forced me to find more about the ache: did it come from the teeth or the gums. I said I did not know. She kept asking me, she always curious about this kind of thing. I was a bit angry. I said,
“It was hurting me a lot, I did not even care where it came from. All I wanted to do was make the pain go away and never come back!”

When I said those pretty-harsh thing, I realized. That’s maybe what patients (if not all, then some patients) really feel when they feel severe pain. They don’t care about where the pain exactly comes from. They don’t bother with that. In their shoes, they perhaps only want the doctor they come to to cure uups, to relieve their pain. It’s kinda hard for doctor to do the “anamnesis” (dude! I could not find an english word for that! sorry!), to ask the patients to find what is actually going on. I see this as a dilemma. Doctors really have to do it, so they won’t do further harm. What doctors can do so the patients won’t feel what I felt when my mom asked that is: ask them nicely. No, I mean, read the patients’ mental condition, are they feeling awful or not, then decide what kind of approach appropriate for them.
I know I might be saying this like it’s easy. I am even only the first grader of medical school. But this is what I feel, once again, in patients’ shoes, and I feel really awful if I did not write it on my blog. It’s aimed to share some experiences of mine, no offense

I gotta go to bed. Almost 9 pm, I really need a rest for the sake of my own health, but you know… My fingers can’t be stop, like usual, when I already am in the mood to write something here ;p

bye!

New Theme: Beach

I know this theme is less cooler than the previous theme. But you know, I’ve wanted to go to the beach ever since the holiday started and when I got a chance to go there, it all evaporates just like that. So, this theme “Beach” is dedicated to me, who’s craving to go to the beach but doesn’t have any chance to go there. this holiday at least. 😥

Lessons Learned

Okay, im running out of time. Actually, Im running out of battery. And this shitful table is way to high for me so my hands are not in a really comfortable position for typing. Im currently at a canteen somewhere at Parahyangan Catholic University. Why did I end up here at 10:16 in the morning? Good question. I have a “meeting” with one of my JHS best friend, Anas. It’s more like a reunion, honestly. I mean, how could I call it a “meeting” with my JHS friens? Im being too formal lately euw. Ah, Dude, I really have to make this fast.

Lesson learned #1
Check your damn lappy’s battery when you’re about to bring it somewhere with you.
I used my lappy till late at night last night. Without charging it. So, I got only 13% left, and that’s f-ing… annoying when you dont have anything to do at an unknown place you have never visited before

And it is 10% left
F F F!

Lesson learned #2
Later, on my holiday, I should have come here (Unpar) more often, rather than hmm… have a walk at ITB, wasting time on finding… okay, I’ll just admit it: finding cute guys. No offense, it’s really subjective, but I have to say that “cute guys” are rare species there. Except those at mechanical engineering, ocean engineering, and school of business and management. And here? Dude, I actually dunno at what canteen Im sitting at right now, but north, south, east, or, west, I find… BEAUTIFUL VIEW. Really. All you need to do is point at one cute guy, and pick it up, bring it home. That easy. Because they’re like EVERYWHERE. Literally. Everywhere in every direction. The cutenesses are kinda different with the cutenesses you’ll find at my campus (FKUI, I mean, not UI generally). The cutenesses there are the ones a good, reliable, and good-looking guy has. The cutenesses here are the other ones: a rebellious messy guy-type has.

Shit! 7% left! F F F F!!!!

Actually I have the third lesson learned but it’s not directly related to what I have been murmuring above, so maybe later I’ll post it here.

I need to turn off this f-ing not-yet-charged-lappy.
Good God, another cute guy has just sit in front of me
I could die of his cuteness hahahaha
Bye!